For years I’ve had a poorly written perl script scanning the intertube-webnets for an old ABB IRB 2000 robotic arm. Why?! I have no idea but it probably has something to do with high school. In 2004/2005 KODAK shut down its xray film production plant in Greely Colorado and donated an ABB IRB 2000 arm to Poudre High School. Mr. Smith, the shop teacher, robotics coach, and all around wonderful person, set it up in the shop/FIRST Team 159 robotics studio. Once or twice, with little convincing, Smith let me pilot this beast. Once the FIRST Robotics build season had started however, piloting the robot was simply out of the question; bigger fish to fry and what have you. I respectfully disagreed, how is a robot not robotics? The beast was held in limbo by two combination locks which smith possessed the only key for. He said I was free to use it, but didn’t give me a key… Did you know you can crack a combination lock mathematically? I learned how, sprawled some numbers across the chalkboard, and opened the pair. It’s amazing what you can do when you’re properly motivated. Smith abruptly changed them out with two more and suggested I do something more productive. Heartbroken, I went back to working on the FIRSTrobot and somewhere deep in my subconscious, some wires got crossed, and now I own a giant robot… as of 11/11/11 so… there’s that. It’s all a bit surreal, and now I have to figure out shipping. How to you ship 700 pounds of robot and 500 pounds of robot brains? Where am I going to put it? What kind of robot food does it eat?! All questions a logical person would have asked first, but I’m running low on that… ground state even. Life in the clouds is more fun anyway, and it’ll all work out… I hope…
